Lost Again. . .

Well it has happened again, the vortex of time and space collide and he disappears into the abyss of W.O.W. and I am left alone. Sounds, sights, everything around him vanishes and all he sees and all he hears and thinks about is this silly game. I wish I could connect to him like it does or even understand it but I don't. It is his escape and I have enjoyed a six month reprieve until on Wednesday night at midnight he was mine. Then he went purchase the contraband and disappeared into that other world where I cannot follow. Apparently this is his escape and that is fine except that I don't have an escape. If I choose one it is unhealthy but for him it is okay. None of this makes much sense to me, nor does his love for it make sense to me, but maybe it is just me. I hate though what this all does to our relationship, how it makes us distant from each other.

I feel myself retreating to that place inside where no one can follow. You can look in through the glass and see that the piles of clutter are starting to pile up, you can see that the once swept through home is looking dirty again but the glass doors are shut and you cannot come in. Inside it is dark, empty and dank; soon the clutter of despair, aloneness, doubt, and dirt pile in corners and soon begin to encroach on the room; soon all 50 some parts will disappear again into me and they will be hard to distinguish; soon the glass will fog over and you won't even be able to see inside. Soon I will be lost again as he is.