Day Twelve. . .

So of course the first question becomes what happened from day eight on that I have not been posting as faithfully; well it's been a tough go with sickness and discouragement looming from every avenue. However it is day twelve and I am still here and still finding ways to find joy everyday. It however is proving to be a bigger battle than I first imagined it to be.

You can become complacent in life and forget that you are in a battle, but the truth is that we are in a war and I am right now on the front lines. I'm here because3 I took the battle to the enemy this month instead of waiting for him to spring at me from the corners. It's hard but who said war would be easy. I'm glad that I have made this decision because despite how hard it can get and how discouraged I am some days I feel like I am doing something and that life is not just passing me by.

We've made progress around the house as we prepare for the celebration on the 21st. There are pictures on the wall; I've lost 9 lbs, all things to be grateful for and all continual progress towards that date. I know that tough times are still in store and that the big guns are probably going to come out but I'm in the trenches and I'm thankful that there is a trench for me to be in. I'm thankful that I can fight and that my life has purpose just in that. Many people are going through their life blind unaware of the fight around them and things may look good but they are not living in reality and I would rather be in a fight and be struggling and be living in reality than be blindly rolling through life unaware.

Jesus is always gracious, gentle and kind and as my walls of denial fall down and I grieve, I also become more aware of how often He has reached out and pulled me from the brink with a time of renewal; whenever I become afraid He finds a way to pour His mercy into my life; He is always faithful and that brings joy to my heart and makes this October so full of promise rather than despair.