Day Fourteen. . .

Well the official thanks-giving ended yesterday but our dinner is not until next week and so we continue to work around the house to try to perfect our house for our company on the 21st. I am not an easy person to live with when things like this are on the horizon because I get so anxious and then I start to notice all the things that are wrong with the house and begin to drive Gil nuts because I am certain we will not be ready in time. Luckily he is used to me and so it seems to roll off him, but the stress has started and I'm trying not to let it consume me but it is difficult. It's nice to see the house coming together I just wish it would happen at a faster pace.

We had cell tonight which I thoroughly enjoyed and it was a chance for them to pray into October for us as we continue to try to change this time of year for everyone in the family. We took some time chatting about the change in me from even just one year ago. One of the people there said that I "radiated" now, I felt uncomfortable when they were saying nice things about me but I am beginning to see the changes myself. I don't recognize who I was a year ago, I am different but those demons are still howling at my door and I am scared that I will fall back into the old ways, or that I will fail.

Failure is so scary to me and I am afraid of disappointing my friends and family and there are times when I don't feel strong enough to keep up the good fight. Thank goodness Jesus is strong enough to carry me. Because of Jesus I can celebrate day fourteen and know that as the month progresses He will continue to help me and be my strength on the days that I don't think I can make it.