For my writing. . .

It sounds egotistical and I don' mean it to be. It's not that I think this is a skill I have, I didn't go to school for it or train for it, I see this more as a gift that He has given me. I have always loved words; words to me have so much power and meaning that they have always informed my life. As I said in my previous blog I learned to read early and then I read everything I could. That is when my love affair for words began. I devoured everything I could get my hands on. Words can move you from the depths of despair to the heights of love. They hold so much power and so much promise. It was in high school I discovered that I could string these magical things together and evoke these emotions in others, that my words had the power to transport me to different places and allowed me to explore my world in a whole new light. I delved in full force and daily escaped to my world where I wrote for friends for myself. I honed and practiced this skill and suddenly had a new purpose and passion. It was then that I knew that writing was part of me, part of my being, knit into my very DNA. I see my writing as a gift from God, a gift He gave me to use and one I'm trying to use now. When I went through my dark phase, the story writing stopped and writing became a way to survive. It is what allowed me to grieve, to find hope, to keep myself going when everything inside of me wanted to stop. It was during this period of time that this ability really became a gift to me, because it was the only thing that gave me a voice. I couldn't vocalize my pain and my struggle, I couldn't get anyone to understand, but I could write and that began to bring me freedom. If you read through the past ten years of this blog, you will see how it has often been the only tool I had, the only form of expression, and you will see glimpses into this period more deeply. I feel that God giving me this gift is what has allowed me to move to where I am now. I feel blessed by this gift, but also called to use it. I think Eric Little in the movie Chariots of Fire expressed it best. He said to his sister that when he ran he felt God's pleasure. That is the only way I can describe what writing does for me. When I write I feel God's pleasure, I feel my heart take flight and so how can I not write. I am thankful that He has chosen to bless me this way.