October 21, 1988

No you are not reading incorrectly, today was a hard day because of a day long ago that changed the course of my life drastically. It's hard to explain to those of us who haven't yet experienced that one defining earth-shattering day that forever looms in their memory. It is not an anniversary we care to remember, definitely not one we long to celebrate, but one that creeps up anyway into the shadows of our memory and make their presence known. Every October since that fateful day I find myself noticing it's arrival without even meaning to. The change in the air, the leaves turning, pulling out the winter clothes all signals that that day will come again, and if I could take a black sharpy and obliterate it from history and from the calender forever I would.

For those of you that have been adding your pearls of wisdom to my blog lately to encourage me, I thank-you deeply. It is encouraging to get your messages when I am in the midst of this fight and they do keep me going and remind me that I am not alone. For the annonymous commenter I'm not sure if I know you but I do thank-you for your advice and comments it means alot. Diana, I always love hearing from you my bosoom friend, my kindred spirit; Rose thank-you always for taking the time to check up on me; and Murman your blog gives me lots to read and think about it just proves that even in the age of technology you can still through the screen of a computer find a kindred spirit.

I leave you tonight with a quote that summarizes today for me, it is from one of the great classics, "Great Expectations" by Charles Dickens.

"That was a memorable day to me, for it made great changes in me. But it is the same with any life. Imagine one selected day struck out of it, and think how different it's course would have been. Pause you who read this and think for a moment of the long chain of iron or gold, or thorns or flowers, that would never have bound you, but for the formation but for the formation of the first link on one memorable day."