LifeatGreenGables

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Location: Mount Albert, Ontario, Canada

I am a writer, a dreamer, looking for my voice, figuring out my passions and my purpose. Desperate to grow how He wants. I am a mom, with three beautiful girls, an awesome son, and the BEST husband ever. It is my Saviour and Lord Jesus and the support of family and friends that allow me to make this change and move towards healing.

Thursday, August 31, 2006

Am I awake? I don't know am I?

For a few months now I have been struggling with insomnia, a doctor gave me a prescription for a sedative and before you knew it I was taking too much and sleeping all the time. My family already knows this, this is nothing new, but I realized there was a problem when Frances consistently when I did appear downstairs would say to me "Mommy are you awake?", in her little tiny voice.

As I have been awakening again to my life and finding my joy, she continued to ask. A few days ago she stopped asking so I must be making progress. I have not slept in three days and I am tired beyond all comprehension, but once again today Frances said "Mommy are you awake? Your not sleeping?" I had to laugh at her little eyes that see all and I said, "No I'm not sleeping right now, but I know I will again soon."

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Another School Year Begins. . .Yipee!!!!!!!!!

Can you tell the children are beginning to drive me crazy. I think that just as much as they are driving me crazy I believe that I am driving them crazy. I know they are driving each other crazy and as a result we are living in a crazy "chaotic" household. I know at least Jessica feels this way, because she informed me that Mrs. Lynde down the street (who has seven children by the way) feels bad for me because of the chaos in the house. To which I respond, "What??????????? Why does Mrs. Lynde think we are living in chaos?" I am thinking at this point wouldn't their house be more chaotic considering how many children they have. So Jessica then informs me that Mrs. Lynde thinks this because that's what Jessica told her. Thanks kid!

So now I know how she really feels. Of course being the constant approval freak I am I am deeply concerned that the neighbour now has this view. I spent some of my sleepless night last night envisioning what she must think is going on in this house. I am a home-body and don't go out that much so I have never actually run across this neighbour (or really any neighbours for that matter), only Gil has, so I now imagine that her and her husband are feeling bad for Gil living with such an inept life. When I asked Jessica if there was any chaos in the Lyndes house she responded, "No she's very organized."

Grrr. . . Argh! Now I also know that she obviously feels I am not organized. Can you imagine! Those of you that know me personally know that this is a complete fabrication on her part (inflect sarcasm here.) Gil and I are the epitome of organization.

Anyway back to the orginal subject of this post, next week the two are back at their respective schools and at least two days a week Frances and I will get a well needed rest from the constant, teasing, nagging, fighting, and general noise that two extra children come with. Especially since Jessica now comes with a tag-along of at least one other neighbourhood girl if not two, so again the noise is magnified.

So despite the busyness of school preparations, eye-doctor appointments and doctor appointments, I am looking forward to some days of leisure. Luckily for me the two left in my care enjoy nap-time and are generally at this stage more agreeable.

Friday, August 18, 2006

Jon Benet Ramsey Rant.

The rage I am feeling at this case, the way it was handled 10 years ago by police and the media cannot be adequately summarized. I have three beautiful little girls and to even contemplate such a gruesome death for any one of them is unthinkable, let alone having to suffer under the relentless scrutiny that they did. Let’s face it everyone basically again and again let it appear that the parents were guilty even though there just was no physical proof. To see the police act self-congratulatory, like this is such a coup for them, is more than ridiculous!!!!!! How much this poor woman much have suffered and now having died never being able to seeing justice. If I am outraged how much more her family must feel at the hands of our media and police who are quick to judge without facts. We in the west are quick to point out wrongs, quick to look at someone’s demeanor and say, "Well if it was my daughter and I was innocent I wouldn't have done that." How can you know what you would or would not do in such a situation? You don't know till you are there and with all our differences in the world in simple matters (evidenced by the continual wars and such that we daily see), how can we say with any certainty how anyone would react to anything.

Secondly, no one knows if this man did it, but let’s not hurry to be too kind because he refers to an assault and rape as an act of love, instead of the violent act of hate and rage it really is shows us that he is a sick sick man. Love is not strangling a helpless child and forcing your sick desires upon them. Love is what the Ramsey’s were providing and guilty or innocent this man is obviously deviant and perverse and I for one am glad that no matter where he goes now he will be seen for what he really is. This was not love, it was a twisted perverse act that tore at the fabric of this family, that took a little girl’s life, that threw chaos into a community, and proved once and for all how quick police and media convict people in the spotlight for a juicy story, instead of really spending the time to do a thorough investigation. Remember folks the police botched the crime scene and threw the blame upon the only people who saw them botch it and called them on it. It deflected the blame and they never had to examine there role in letting a pedophile and murderer get away because of sloppy police work. At any time they could have said what they are saying now and told people to back off and let the chips fall where they may and like in any good CSI show let the evidence lead you instead of leading the evidence into the direction you think it show go, because of stupid pre-conceptions on how parents act and react to their only daughters body lying most likely in a gruesome state on your basement floor. The police said why didn’t the parents wake up, why did they do this, why did they do that. I am sure that these very people went over that night again and again in their head asking the very same questions,, accusing themselves as they tried to deal with this unimaginable state they found themselves in.

I only wish we could do away with all this hype and realize that pedophiles are sick and should go to jail no matter what. They can not be reformed so why oh why do we let them walk our streets to attack, maim and harm any small child. We the adults are allowing real terrorism run rampant in our society against the smallest and most helpless, then we sit around and discuss the gory details, wring our hands and say "what could we do, he has his rights.” Jon Benet had the right to sleep soundly in her bed with visions of sugar plums in her head, Jon Benet had the right to grow up, and Jon Benet had the right to turn sixteen this year and have a sweet sixteen party, to marry and have a little girl of her own to care and provide for.

We need to wake up and take back our children from the real terrorists, because if we don't we will see this sickness grow beyond our capacity to deal with and the ramifications upon our world will be devastating. We are allowing evil to play in our streets and under our roofs; we are letting our children fall into this well of abuse that, which even if their bodies survive the event their minds might not. Are we really willing to just watch and let this happen under our noses? We the adults are allowing evil to flourish and we need to grow up and make sure these individuals pay for their crimes.
Why do we wait for the devil to steal our children before we wake up and take up the cause? Why do we let the parents who have been drafted into this war, just because they happen to be the ones chosen that day by that sick pervert? Wrong time wrong place and they are drafted into a war we shouldn’t even be fighting and the rest of us hold our breath and hope against hope that our children will not be the next casualties, that we won’t just by luck of the draw end up on the front line with the John Walsh’s and Mark Klaus’s of this world. Why don’t we as North Americans, proud North Americans do something now and stop this evil where it stands while the children are still in their beds, while the children still have their breath, before a unimaginable grief and injustice take the innocents away where we can’t see it anymore and evil stands victorious against good because good people did nothing.

Thursday, August 17, 2006


The two loves of my life. Posted by Picasa