Twenty-One Years.

It's amazing to think that's we've been married now for 21 years, and I've known you for 23. Not amazing that it is this long long time that we have known each other, but rather that 23 doesn't seem so long. You see I feel like I have known you all my life, that you were there when I was knit together in my Mother's womb, that you were there as I gallivanted in the forests and beaches of Indonesia, that you were there with me as I climbed that mountain, led that youth group, was bullied and harassed, and yet you weren't. How is it you weren't when I feel like you have always been there? Is it because I feel like we have become one in so many ways it is hard now to find the spots where you end and I begin. I feel like my DNA stretches into yours so flawlessly, and your skin covers my own. You finish my sentences and I finish yours, we laugh at the same time and we weep together. You have been so many things to all my parts, you have been a father, supporter, brother, friend, lover, you have given all of yourself to all of me and all my parts so that I could find the peace that for years evaded me. There has been so much in our lives together that has not been fair, there has been so much in our lives that has been debilitating, hurtful, painful, there has been grief, heartbreak and brokenness, there have been times where we have both felt so lonely even though we were together, but there has also been grace, healing, ecstasy, joy and peace. It's the same with any relationship, any relationship worth having. It's hard and it's every day, but those moments of joy, those moments when our souls are so merged that we lose each ourselves in each other make all those other moments disappear as if they never happened. It all becomes worth it, it all makes sense, when I see myself as you see me, when I can give you a glimpse of who you are in my eyes, all the hard times fall into the ocean and only His purpose is left. On our small vacation this year, our time to disappear and realign each our hearts to the others, I realized that every year with you I come more alive. You have this ability to breathe new life into me, you have this ability to bring joy to my weary bones. Instead of getting older and creeping towards the inevitable end, somehow I feel younger, sexier, more alive as each year passes and I don't even know how that is possible, and yet it is what is happening. This is what you do to me. I look at what we have created together, our four beautiful children, our children who are the epitome of us as one, smart, creative, stubborn, full of potential, beauty, grace, possibility.

There's a song that is playing on the radio right now that sums up so much of how I feel and how I feel you feel about me. I know that all of you loves all of me, every part, all the good, the bad and the ugly and I love all of you. You bring me joy in my despair, you fill up the empty spaces inside and you can get inside to those parts that are hidden and ugly and you make even those parts feel special and beautiful. So happy anniversary my love, and I do hope we have at least another 21 years to go. Those lyrics for those of you who may have suffered through this emotional stuff and have not heard the song are All of Me by John Legend What would I do without your smart mouth Drawing me in, and you kicking me out Got my head spinning, no kidding, I can’t pin you down What’s going on in that beautiful mind I’m on your magical mystery ride And I’m so dizzy, don’t know what hit me, but I’ll be alright Bridge: My head’s under water But I’m breathing fine You’re crazy and I’m out of my mind ‘Cause all of me Loves all of you Love your curves and all your edges All your perfect imperfections Give your all to me I’ll give my all to you You’re my end and my beginning Even when I lose I’m winning ‘Cause I give you all of me And you give me all of you How many times do I have to tell you Even when you’re crying you’re beautiful too The world is beating you down, I’m around through every mood You’re my downfall, you’re my muse My worst distraction, my rhythm and blues I can’t stop singing, it’s ringing, in my head for you Bridge: Cards on the table, we’re both showing hearts Risking it all, though it’s hard I give you all of me And you give me all of you