Beauty and the Beast. . .
You probably think I am talking about a couple, but actually I'm talking about this past weekend. It was a beautiful time that turned beastly at the very end with our trip home, so come with me and I'll take you deep into my escape from the city and from the kids. It started when Gil had extra time off because of the hours he has been able to log lately and so he made arrangements with Rose to come and baby-sit the three we have at home so that we could escape to the cottage for a weekend alone. It was awesome that it happened at all, that he would notice we needed time to connect, time to unwind and just be together in the quiet of each others company. No T.V., no computers(no faceboook) no phones just us.
As a teen quiet time, or time away from technology would have seemed crazy to me, why would you ever want to go away alone with only one person to a spot so secluded no one can reach you, that just seemed like the epitome of boredom to me, but now, now that I have three little munchkins at home and one big munchkin, silence has become golden because it is in such short supply, it is heaven, it is bliss, it is pure relaxation and I finally understand my parents. I have learned that true love is being able to be silent together, that even in the silence you know each other and can feel each others' moods and you don't feel the need to fill up the air with talk, it is just fine to be silent with each other.
The initial plan was for Gil to pack me up and surprise me last minute but he decided that perhaps it would be better to give me some notice, let me pack myself and also therein let me have the joy of anticipation which sometimes is half the fun. So once Rose was booked in he told me of his dastardly plan to leave our children and retreat to the bliss of my family's cottage. It is only accessible by boat(although that will be changing) there is no phone, no T.V. and no internet access so it is a true retreat. These are things that could be changed but my family has loved the remoteness of the cottage and enjoyed being unreachable so my parents have decided not to change these things, (thank-goodness).
We left the city later than I had wanted to, we were hoping to leave right after lunch but Rose had a job interview and also was horribly sick, so the fact that she was still coming despite this ailment was good news to us so we didn't mind leaving later. Also as always it took us longer to pack up than we wanted and we needed to stop in Costco to get the few groceries we would need for our retreat. However despite it being a Friday evening there was little to no traffic. It seemed that the weather forecasters had scared people off by their predictions that it would rain all week-end long.
When we arrived my parents were still there waiting and we had a quick chat with them, they showed us the renovations which included new stairs to the deck and stone stairs up instead of the rough path that it used to be and then they left. We settled into our retreat, snacking and reading and then we watched a movie before retiring for the evening.
The next morning was rainy, every kind of rain, hard downpour, the lighter spritzing, wind, thunder and then a gentle more steady rain. I loved hearing the rain on the roof and snuggling up inside to watch old movies and just enjoy being together. Nothing to do, no dirty diapers to change, no fights with children over meals, no having to cut sandwiches into various sizes in order to please everyone, no needing to be referee to the myriads of fights that would have escalated by now, just the quiet bliss of rain on the roof, and the wonderful strong arms of my husband as we snuggled in. We didn't care that it was raining this time alone was as they say priceless.
Gil had finished novel number one and began his second. That in itself was amazing because he is not a reader except on these occasions when we escape our brood (which almost never) and he is not a fast reader but he really was enjoying this novel so he flew through and then was on to his spare.
The next day he began novel number three, yes he finished the second one as well. He actually had not brought up a third and was about to succumb to boredom, but as always I saved the day by having picked up another book at Costco before we actually left town. This book called The Shack by William Young, it had an endorsement from Michael W. Smith which is really the only reason I felt compelled to buy it so I suggested that Gil read it since Michael W. Smith is his favorite singer. So he decided to start this novel, he found the first 80 pages difficult to read emotionally but after that all he would say is how good it was and how much I needed to read it also.
This day was a beautiful day and the promised rain never materialized, there was a cool wind, and the dock was bathed in sunshine the whole day. I was wise and slathered on the sun-tan lotion but Gil(as is his habit) decided not to worry about it. I not only read but did some exercise too and swam in between reading but Gil became absorbed in his novel and only after much coaxing at the end of the day did he venture in for a swim. The water was cool, too cool to swim the lake (not that I would have survived such a swim anyway) but it was wonderful, refreshing and absolutely refreshing. So after his brief dip, we barbecued our steaks and sat down to a wonderful meal.
Later that evening I noticed that Gil had quite a peculiar sun-burn, because of where he had been sitting on the dock he had a burn on one side of his body, one side of his neck, one arm, one leg and one foot. It was also one of the worst sunburns he's ever had so he was quite sore and of course I had a good laugh at his expense.
After supper we played a card game, watched a movie, talked, snuggled, read some more before drifting off to sleep. The slumber of no children venturing in, in the wee hours of the night for hugs, kisses, water etc. The next day we reluctantly packed up for the long journey home. We really didn't want to leave but this was the longest we have left the children and Rose was sick and so we had to after all we are supposed grown ups right?
This is where it all turns beastly, first we have to leave and second, well you see there was a small accident. The way our cottage works with only having lake access is that a marina down the way houses the boat and so one person drives the boat and one person drives the car to the marina to pick up the first person. Since I only drive land vehicles(and even that is disputed by many) Gil was the one driving the boat. So we loaded up the boat and went across the lake to pack up the van. When we got there, there was a large truck barring the road. It had slid in the gravel down the hill and barred the way of getting out, it was sideways and so they were waiting for a truck to come and pull them out of the way. This meant that we too were waiting. Gil however is an impatient man and we were concerned for Rose as she had promised she would watch for the morning but she did have a life to get back too after all.
So after discussing the predicament with the four burly strangers Gil decided to try to pass the truck by moving some bushes out of the way. He also was being protective of me because he didn't want to leave me alone with four strangers and so he wanted to make sure that I could leave. So he tried to pass but at the last second the van slipped on the gravel and the load of this truck went crashing through our two back windows.
So now we had to go to town to get bags to duck-tape the back windows. Once that was done we were finally on our way (we would have saved time just by waiting for the truck to come tow the burly men's truck) we then got into a long traffic jam. I took the opportunity to paint my toe nails and my nails because what else are you going to do in a traffic jam, and after a long long drive we finally arrived (again much later than we wanted) to relieve Candice of her burden and return to domestic bliss.
The kids were happy to see us and I was shown just how much our presence was missed when I sat down to my laptop to see what had happened in the world of facebook and they all crowded around me not wanting to let me out of their sight. This is something I have learned as a parent that there are times when you need time away from your kids not only for your piece of mind and that precious time you and your husband need, but also so that they have a chance to miss you as well. It is in times of absence and then re-connection that they learn that you(as their parents) can leave and you always return, this lets them learn to trust. They have a chance to miss you and look forward to your return, they learn that you value the relationship with their dad enough to take the time away that you need, and that will give them skills when it comes down to the way they parent and will teach them how to value their future spouse.
posted by Anne | 11:54 AM
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