For Cream in my Coffee. . .

So I have been on a diet off and on for a bit now, and so when I am on the diet it of course involves taking certain things out of what you eat. So for me it has been dairy, sugar and carbs. Now you don't take all these things out of your diet forever but just for a certain amount of time and now that the diet is over we go on maintenance which means you can start to add those things back into your diet in moderation. So today being the first day of maintenance, I was able to add back into my diet some dairy. That means cream in my coffee. What a wonderful treat my coffee was to me this morning. Whenever you remove something from your life however small you begin to see what you take for granted. What you have just become so used to that you don't even really enjoy the flavor anymore. That cup of coffee this morning was so delicious it was like I was tasting coffee again for the first time. Whenever you really want to enjoy something, just don't let yourself have it for awhile and then the flavor will be so rich it will amaze you. Today it is this really simple thing, like cream in my coffee that I am thankful for. Thankful to move into a different phase of the diet and thankful that I can really enjoy the very simple things like cream in my coffee.

For Hard Times. . .

This is going to seem like a strange blog, I hear people saying now "why would you be thankful for hard times?" Well there are so many reasons. One is that I find during the really hard times is when I gravitate towards Jesus, cling to him for comfort and as a result grow deeper in my relationship with him. Another reason is that it makes me stronger. Every hard time results in me just being a little stronger and more able to handle the next hard time that might come my way. A third reason is that I really believe it develops character. The more I have to struggle with, the more empathy I have for others who are struggling, the more understanding I am of those who are not in the place I am in. My character grows and that is always a good thing. Now don't' take this blog that I want hard times. I think I have had enough hard times to last a life time, and peace and joy from here on out would be great. However if I need to grow in my character, if I need to grow in my relationship with Christ, if I need to be stronger (and I will always need those things) than I can see hard times as a gift because when I come to the other end I will be a better person for it. I also can see it as a gift because when you come out at the other side, then you can enjoy the peace and joy and you tend not to take it for granted. "Surely it was for my benefit that I suffered such anguish. In your love you kept me from the pit of destruction; you have put all my sins behind your back." Isaiah 38:17

For Prayer. . .

So tonight was cell meeting, and after sharing our prayer requests and we began to pray I realized what a wonderful thing prayer is. There are many types of prayer, corporate prayer, family prayers, prayers alone behind closed doors, couples prayers, and cell prayer. What a wonderful thing we have that God has given us this ability to pray. We get to come before God, the huge and powerful God and bring our concerns, our care, our sorrows and our joy and have a conversation. What a gift, what a wonderful gift. We can take anything and everything to Him and what is so great is He wants to hear it all. Every type of prayer we have available to us is so special. It's amazing to go to Church and be involved in corporate prayer, to lift up as a group our concerns for the world and for ourselves, for our community. Family prayers of course hold such a powerful and important spot in our lives. You can really learn about your children when you lead them in prayer and ask about their prayer requests. You learn about their heart, what is going on inside them, what worries them and what brings them joy. You can also learn how powerful children's prayers are. Jessica prayed for Elizabeth, Frances and Christopher. He answered her prayer every time. Prayers alone I find are the ones where you are the most yourself as you pour your heart out before God. It's amazing to know He loves those prayers too and makes mention of them in His word. He wants to see us as we are, not as we want others to see us and when we pray alone we are the most vulnerable and honest about what is going on inside us. Couple prayers of course draw you closer together with your beloved and help you as you bond. It guides your intimacy and your hearts towards each other. Then there is cell prayer. What I love about cell prayer is that we are able to bring our concerns to each other, to share together and then to lift each other up in love. It's amazing to hear one week, the prayers that are answered in the week that we lifted up the week before. We then rejoice with each other and get to see the power of God working. We get to support each other not with platitudes but before our Father. It's of course the best way to love each other. Tonight I am grateful for prayer, that God loves us so much He desires that we pray and come to Him daily. I am blessed because of my brothers and sisters who love me so much they lift me up in prayer and my concerns. I am blessed that I get to share with my brothers and sisters the joy of answered prayer. I am blessed because God is not a God who is far away, but who is involved daily and is delighted when I daily give time to Him in prayer. I am grateful for prayer, and blessed by prayer and I think that sometimes that I take that amazing gift that He has given me for granted.

For Florida. . .

So this year we were also able to take our kids on our very first family vacation. Jessica mentioned earlier in the year she really wanted to go to Disney World and so we worked really hard to make sure that it could happen. We weren't sure what she would be doing this year coming up and so we thought doing it right now would be the right time. We drove down and stayed in this cute condo about five minutes away from the park. I really thought the drive would be more stressful than it was. We listened to the Narnia Series, enjoyed the beautiful views and we actually enjoyed the excitement of getting to our destination. We had amazing weather the entire time. We enjoyed the pool, and of course the magic of Disney. I think the things I loved the most though was the times in the evening when we watching shows together and Chris would snuggle up to me. Watching Chris learn to swim, hearing him chat away to everyone around him. He came out of his shell on that trip and it was amazing. A favorite moment I won't soon forget is France's face when she saw a real live elephant. Hearing the kids exclaim about the water in the ocean having never experienced it and been shocked that it was salty. I also enjoyed getting to know my niece who until this trip I have not been able to spend a lot of time with. It was a really good trip and I feel very blessed to have had this time with my family bonding and growing with them. I am so grateful that we took the time and spent the money. I am grateful and feel blessed for our trip.

For Maui. . .

For years I have had a dream and a desire to go to Hawaii at some point in my life. I have also been a fan of Aaron Shust since I heard his song "My Savior, My God". It was a song that really got me through a very difficult time. Because Facebook allows you to like certain people and be their fans I did so with Aaron Shust and then one day on my Facebook feed it popped up that he was going to be playing in Hawaii and you could go to see him and be in Hawaii with a group called Love Songs. Their payment plan made the accommodation side of things affordable and so after many hours budgeting and figuring it out we booked a room. The trip for our marriage was revolutionary. We got to not only hear Aaron Shust but I was introduced to Phil Wickham and the speaker was Gary Thomas. His view on marriage was eye opening and so refreshing. It has literally changed everything for Gil and I. I even got to chat with Aaron for a few minutes. The trip was absolutely wonderful. I faced a fear and drove up a mountain to watch the sunrise. It was the most amazing thing I have ever witnessed, it's like the horizon suddenly is lighted on fire and because we were higher than the clouds in made you feel like you were seeing things from God's point of view. I felt like I was on the edge of the entire universe watching His Glory unfold. I learned so many things, first and foremost that God loves to delight us. I felt His joy in giving me one of my dreams. I felt His pleasure in my delight, in my renewal of my marriage and it has caused me to depend on Him to seek Him in everything I do. It has given me a view of Him that I was missing for most of my life. I grew up thinking of God as a judgmental being and now I really began to understand the Father heart. The other great thing was we made two great friends, Gus and Cindy. We've kept in touch through Facebook and it is amazing how supported I feel by people who are so far away. God again surprised us a couple years later by allowing us to take a return trip to Maui. We were reunited with Gus and Cindy and then we made more friends, Shiloh and Darryl. This time I was introduced to the music of Chris August. I faced another fear and went zip lining. It was the most fun I have ever had. I am blessed that I was able to take two trips of a lifetime with my husband. I am blessed that I was able to watch a sunrise and see a view of God's creation that I had not yet witnessed. I am blessed that I came to understand my Father's heart and love for me. I am blessed that my marriage was reawakened in such a wonderful way. So tonight I am grateful for Maui and the time I was able to spend there, the fears I was able to conquer, the vision that I gained.

For Rhonda and Kirsten. . .

So for awhile I had been lonely, my friends from college moved far away and I was trying to find my way without that close bond. A few years ago I was lucky enough to meet and become good friends with two great girls, Rhonda and Kirsten. How we became friends is that I took a risk and was vulnerable with them and they accepted and loved me. They didn't judge me, they didn't look at me strangely but they accepted and loved me for who I am. They are two of the few who really get me. They know who I really am. We have been able to do many things together over the past few years, there have been girl nights, gab sessions, chatting through Facebook. Rhonda and I live close by each other so I've been able to go play cards at her place with her hubby and also go for long walks. Kirsten has had me over to bake cupcakes, that were very delicious. I feel really blessed to have these girls in my life and to be included in theirs. So tonight I am thankful for new friends as well, for new friendships and for those girlfriends who know you and get you and accept you for who you are. I love you both, and I'm very thankful that you are both in my life.

For Camp Medeba. . .

So ever since they were old enough my kids have been blessed enough to be able to go to Camp Medeba for a week or two depending on the year for summer camp. It has been a blessing to both Gil and I for a number of reasons. Number one is that it provides them with experiences and learning that we could never give them otherwise. They get to try so many different new things and have different adventures every year. They meet new people and have been able to develop lasting friendships. The second reason is that it gives Gil and I at least one week a year where we can disappear for a week by ourselves to my parents cottage and that has been a haven for our marriage. Jessica especially always loved her weeks at camp and when she could she signed up for LIT 1 followed by LIT 2. It was during these two summers especially that I saw my girl blossom. She came back so grown up and changed for the better having learned life lessons that she would never have gotten anywhere else. Her relationship with God always grows during these summers as she learns about Him and how to listen to His voice and rely on His care and provision. She has conquered many fears and I'm sure the lessons she learned there will help her to conquer more. Last year she was able to work there and is working there again this summer and I could not be prouder. She has made life long friends and throughout the year she often still tries to find time to connect with her camp friends. The tradition now continues with the younger kids. Again Elizabeth and Frances love their time at camp and are already talking about what weeks they will be there and making plans with friends to meet up there. I love when they get back pouring over the pictures with them and seeing all their adventures. They can do such a range of activities like rock climbing, the ropes course, the giant swing, the zip line, swimming, canoeing, kayaking, archery, and that is just some of them. I also see what a camp experience means when I look at Gil. He can tell you some amazing stories of his youth at camp. I never went to camp as a kid, never had the opportunity or to be honest the desire, but when I look at the fun my kids have then I know that I am the one who missed out and I feel so blessed that my kids don't have to miss out and are able to go and have these experiences. I know for Gil he will tell you those were the best times for him, those were the times that stretched him into a man, and because of Medeba he has the faith he has now. I see the impact that this camp in Haliburton has had on my kids, the blessing it has been in Gil's life and the blessing and change it brings to many kids lives. They work hard throughout the year to be able to give to kids and reach kids in the summer. I am blessed and grateful that Medeba is such a huge part of my families lives. Nothing brings more joy to a mother's heart than being able to see her kids challenged and to see them greet those challenges and overcome them. Medeba does that for my kids, it brings them adventures, fun, joy, friends, and deepens their relationship with Jesus.

For more information or to register, visit www.medeba.com.

For Rose. . .

She is technically an in-law but I wanted to dedicate an entire blog to Rose because of how much she means to me. It's hard to believe that we have grown as close as we have from how we met. This tiny little exuberant girl who came bounding up to me excited to see who was dating her uncle Glenn. Within minutes of our meeting much to her Aunt Maureen's dismay she promptly asked if I was going to marry her uncle Glenn. Of course I didn't know then that I was going to, or how this little girl's life would end up so intertwined in mine. Our beginnings were rough, I wasn't as out-going as I think she would have liked, and then I didn't let her be my flower girl. That really irked her, but in my defense at that point in my life I was painfully shy and little kids scared me. The girl I am now would have loved to have her as my flower girl. As she grew up we didn't get to see her much except at Christmas and birthdays but it was always fun to see her as she grew, to see her creativity her love of photography and her joy in taking care of Jess, dressing her up and video taping her. When I was pregnant with Frances she came to live with us and help me with the other two. It was then that our relationship really became a friendship as opposed to Aunt and Niece. It was during this stay that Rose traveled with me to Quebec to see Kara. It was a tiring trip especially for Rose and it didn't help when on the drive back Elizabeth threw up every twenty minutes. I remember Rose hanging out the window of the passenger side just dying. Then she moved out for awhile and then I got pregnant with Christopher and she moved back in. This pregnancy I was tired all the time and wasn't much fun to be around at all. There was of course also three little girls around at this point for Candice to dress up and play with. The girls loved Rose and any time she was willing to spend with them. They loved dancing with her, recording themselves dancing, they loved dressing up and all the fun things she would do with them. Rose meeting Matt was amazing, both Gil and I were sure he was the right one right away and we were so happy when they figured it out too and got hitched. Her wedding was amazing and she looked so very beautiful. I felt so blessed this year when she included the girls in her wedding. Jessica as a bridesmaid, Beth a junior bridesmaid and Frances was the flower girl. They all looked so beautiful and I couldn't help but smile at the irony that she had all my girls in her wedding despite the fact I didn't have her in mine. There are many reasons why Rose is such a special person, she is dramatic, beautiful, extremely creative, full of life, complicated etc. She is one of a kind in every way and I am very blessed to know her, to have a friendship with her and I'm blessed that she has a relationship and friendship with my girls. I am very grateful to have Rose and Matt in our lives, to have her has my niece and friend. I am blessed that I have been able to develop a relationship with this wonderful woman and that she was patient enough with me in this process to let us become friends too. I love you Rose.

For the in-laws . . .

Tonight we had a party for Glenda, Gil's oldest sister. She is 55 now. Gil has three older sisters, and anyone that has gone to a Hunt "do" knows it is quite the experience. As I sat and watched everyone interacting at the table around me and chatting I remembered my first introduction into this family. It was very overwhelming to meet everyone. At that point Sylvia was just about to be married and only Glenda had kids but it was still as it was tonight -- loud, boisterous and very busy. My mom always taught me you should help out in the kitchen but when I tried to set foot in there it's like everyone had a plan that they were given ahead of time of what happens when and how and I just succeeded in being more in the way. Then at dinner (there is always amazing food at any Hunt gathering) it was of course strange to have have children crawling under the table and biting your feet while it seemed everyone else pretended nothing strange was happening at all. At one point it seemed like there was about 4 or 5 simultaneous conversations going on at once and I couldn't keep track of who was talking to who about what and everyone is laughing and my head feels like it's going to explode. So I decide to step out on to the porch to get air. On the porch already is Bruce, Peter and Chris who see me and start laughing. They explained that occasionally all the in-laws have to step outside to get air. What amazed me, is that that meant all that noise inside was coming from just the Hunts themselves. Now this is the overwhelming part of them, but the part about the Hunts that is truly amazing is that this family will be there for you. Come rain or shine if you have a need and someone can provide it for you, help you with it or just listen they will be there. If you have an issue and they don't get it, they will read up on it, research it and try to get it. They have helped us with every move, they came and spent a weekend cleaning and painting and setting up a nursery for Chris when I was too pregnant to move, for Rose's wedding we all went up early and decorated whatever we could to help set up, this is a family that pulls together. We try to be there in anyway we can with each other. We are there to help, to celebrate and to grieve. I am very very blessed to know each and every member of this family. They have supported Gil and I in every way possible and they have each taught me so much. I love them all dearly. From sweet Sylvia and her impeccable taste for decoration and her ability to hold these gatherings for everyone and pull everything off so well, to Maureen who loves to talk and to listen and is so very encouraging at every turn, to Glenda who is the kid whisperer and can cure any child of any bad behavior. Glenda is also the one with the ingenious ideas of how to do things. I love you all like you were my own sisters and I feel blessed to be part of the clan and that you have taken me in with open arms. As I sat at the table tonight I couldn't help but think that now my kids were part of the noise, and I wasn't sitting on the porch with my head hurting but instead I was a part of it, I could keep up with all the conversations that were happening all at once and participate as well. I am blessed that the Hunts have dragged me out of my shell and I am blessed by all the love they have to offer.

For The Family of Cells. . .

So when I was away from Gil for awhile, I was going through a very difficult time, I was lonely, unsure of myself, unsure of how to be a Mom, a wife and I was introduced first to the Robinson Cell. It was in the middle of a transition into a group of cells which has now become the family of Cells. Well this cell group was where I found solace and where I also found acceptance. This was the first group that I ever became completely vulnerable with and let who I was out. I was not judged or rejected or mocked. Instead I was accepted and loved. This acceptance is what has ultimately changed my life, this acceptance is what has freed me and allowed me to move into healing and into an amazing new life. I am much more sure of myself, I am much more confident in being a Mom, in being a wife, in being. I learned for the first time what it really means that the truth will set you free. When you take a risk and allow yourself to be vulnerable to a group who truly love Jesus and therefore love you as a sister, there is so much freedom. This cell that is now a group of three cells and is therefore called the family of cells demonstrates what real community is. We are there for each other, we pray for each other, we get together as a large group every few months to just be with each other. It is a multi-generational cell so there are old folks and babies and the mix means you can be mentored and be a mentor at the same time. I love the family of cells because of their presence in my life and because of the love they have brought to me and my family. I am blessed to have such a community in my life that I am able to be free in and to be who I really am. I am blessed and thankful to be part of this community. I am blessed that they are a part of my families life, and my children's life. I am so grateful that Jesus gave me the courage to be honest, because in the end all it has brought me is freedom and healing.

For being able to baptize my girls. . .

So I belong to this really awesome Church. A Church that believes that the person who has mentored the person or has played the biggest role in their spiritual life, i.e. led them to Christ is the one who baptizes them. This belief and practice meant that when my girls decided two years ago to be baptized that I was the one that got to do it. It was of course their choice and it surprised and blessed me. I will admit the vain part of me was worried about getting in a bathing suit and everything, but that quickly dissipated in light of the enormity of the event at hand. It was one of the best, most moving experiences of my life. I got to hear their testimonies ask them the five questions and then dunk them. It was a monumental day that I got to share in with my girls a day I will never forget. I didn't think I would get so emotional but when it came down to it, I couldn't help but tear up and I barely got through my part of it. I have never been prouder of my girls and never felt more honored. It was a blessing I didn't expect and it was such a beautiful day, and it was a gift to this mother's heart. When I asked Jess why she chose me she said, "Well you brought me into the physical world so it is only right that you bring me into the spiritual world so to speak." So I am grateful that I was able to experience this, I am so very thankful that I go to a Church that is not afraid to embrace new ideas, I am blessed that I was given this gift and experience with my kids. I am thankful that our Church is ruled by grace and not doctrine.

For the Stewart Cell. . .

The Stewart Cell of course is now the Hunt Cell but at the time when they came into our lives and changed our lives for the better they were the Stewart Cell. I cannot express how thankful I am that they did enter into our lives because had they not I'm not sure where we would be or where my family would be. They first entered our lives in the summer of 2007, when they started coming to our home in Aurora to help us out with the lawn. At the point that they came to our house I had become housebound. I rarely went outside and rarely interacted with anyone but Gil and the kids. The kids had been in Church but rarely. They too rarely interacted with anyone outside of the house. I was in a very dark place at that point in my life. This cell started to come and work in the yard and the kids would get so excited when it was the day they were coming. They became affectionately called the lawn people and it was a good motivation for everyone to eat their dinner so that they could go out and chat with the lawn people. I was wary of this group coming but also aware that we needed to do something and that my family needed help so I allowed it however reluctantly. To be honest I was ashamed of where we were in our lives. I was ashamed that I was too scared to go outside, and ashamed that I had fallen away from God. I was sure I would be met with judgement and so although the kids loved going outside to see the lawn people, I hid in my room. The way they interacted with my kids eventually gave me enough courage to venture outside to meet them. They were not judgmental at all, and their love and acceptance began to give me a hope in the Church again. I had been away for so long and suddenly I had courage to go back to Church. I saw a love being poured into my kids and I really wanted them to have that community. Not only did they clean up our yard they gave us a play set that the kids loved so very much and played with until we had to move. Because of what the Stewart cell poured into my family I have four kids who have accepted Christ, two who have been baptized, they are part of an amazing Church family that looks out for them, because of them I now not only go to Church but also am a cell leader, and because of the acceptance of this cell I have been able to find my faith again and find hope, and more than that start to put the pain of the past behind me. So tonight I am thankful and grateful for the blessing of this cell. I am blessed because I have a cell that was willing to help out someone they didn't even know and invest in them and that has now allowed me to try to invest that in others. I am thankful they took the chance on my family and my family is blessed because of that.

For Wesley. . .

So of course as in the series Giles has a sidekick and I would not be very nice if I didn't mention him in my gratitude blog. So tonight's blog is dedicated to Wesley. Yes some people have nick names and some don't and some nicknames are from the Anne stories and some are from Buffy, and all this means is that I am strange and let's just put that out there and move on. Wesley came into the picture a year after Giles when my case became a little more complicated than what Giles was used to. Being complicated is a good thing though I think. When we met Wes decided to adopt me as his sister and now we really do have a brother sister relationship. I always wanted an older brother and now I got one. We don't always see eye to eye, we bicker but deep down we love each other and we always have each other's back. When we have fights he doesn't stay mad at me and I usually don't stay mad at him for too long. What I really love about Wesley is his heart for others. He genuinely cares for people and wants to work at freeing them from the things that are binding them, that is what he is helping Giles do for me. His heart has not just been extended out to me, but to my family. He has adopted my kids as his nieces and nephew. He often will have Jess over for dinner when she has a break between School and youth group. When I was still in a situation where I couldn't get out of the house he would come by and get the kids so they could get to Church. He has become Gil's best friend. I love him a lot and I am so blessed that he has come into my life. I have been blessed to attend two of his kid's weddings and I felt so honored to be there. So tonight I am grateful for Wesley and what he means to me and the addition he has made to my life.

For Books. . .

I've written before that one of the things about me is I love writing and the flow of words. Well this love of course started with reading. I learned to read at five, and have been a reader ever since. I don't have enough bookcases in my house, and when I go shopping at Costco for groceries, the book isle is one I have to try to stay away from. There is guaranteed at least three to four books I want at any given time. I don't spend my time at the mall shopping for clothes, no books are my vice. At the cottage I will spend every day laying on the dock devouring book after book. When I pack for the cottage I usually pack one entire suitcase of books. I can never decide how many I'll get through and which ones I want to delve into next. I love all books, fiction, non-fiction, action, romance, mystery, thriller, history, biographies, self-help, poetry. There isn't a genre I don't like. Books are an escape that let you take an adventure without leaving the dock and delve into another world for just a few hours. There are favorites that I will return to again and again and pour through again and again. Anne of Green Gables is one of those, The Princess Bride, The Poisonwood Bible, the Narnia series. Occasionally I get a dud that I hate but often I find something redeeming in most books. Gil wanted to buy me a Kindle one year because of this love of books I have, and I'm so glad he asked me first because although I understand the practicality of it, my love affair with the book has so much to do with holding it in my hands, the smell of the book, how it feels to steadily work through it seeing your progress as your place in the book changes, the paper in your fingers. Yes it would be easier than hauling around a case full of books, but it wouldn't' be the same. Lately I've been reading books that are considered youth books. Mainly because I see my daughter preferring to read then to watch TV, and so I become curious as to what has her attention. I want to be part of her world and so I take up the book so that I can see a glimpse inside her. The Hunger Games was the first of these, followed by the Divergent Series. I then find myself hooked too, and having something in common with her to chat about is always nice. The part I love most about books is when you find truth in their pages, a quote that you can glean a lesson in. The Poisonwood Bible is full of those, and this time in the last of the Divergent books I found two I found especially meaningful. The one because it is exactly how I feel about marriage and love, and to find it described this way in a book that is being consumed by 15-17 year old girls is so wonderful. "I used to think that when people fell in love, they just landed where they landed, and they had no choice in the matter afterward. And maybe that's true of beginnings, but it's not true of this now. I fell in love with him. But I don't just stay with him by default as if there's no one else available to me. I stay with him because I choose to, every day I that I wake up, every day that we fight or lie to each other or disappoint each other. I choose him over and over again and he chooses me." Veronica Roth That's an amazing quote to find in a secular book. It's how I feel about Gil. Then there's this quote from the same book; "Since I was young, I have always known this: Life damages us, every one. We can't escape that damage. But now, I am learning this: We can be mended. We mend each other" That is how I feel about me. Only the words I would use is that life wounds us, and we can be healed. I know that being in community and having friends has healed me, so we do heal one another, but we also have a healer that comes in and restores us. He can also work through us to those who are wounded and in need. So you read this long blog to get to the point that tonight I am grateful that I have a love of reading, that I can find adventure, find truth, relate to my daughter. I am blessed because of this passion and that there is always more books out there to read.

For Shelter. . .

I've blogged about this amazing little house before, but I cannot help but feel blessed tonight that I have this shelter that God has provided for my family. It was a real miracle that we found this little place we call home. The tall yellow house in Mount Albert. We back on to a park which is great for the kids it has a huge backyard which is great for Glenn. I haven't figured out the gardening part, and hopefully one day I will. It has enough rooms for all the family members, my girls need to share which of course right now seems like the end of the world. We have a wonderful room which is my safe haven and we can see the most beautiful sunsets from. It has a hot tub which we really have not been making use of, but we could. It really is a little Anne of Green Gables house and I adore it. I love more the story of how we got it and for that you can read the blog post titled October 21st, from October 2012 and it will give you all the miraculous details. The details show why I am blessed and thankful tonight because we serve a God who goes out of His way to redeem all the hurts and pains of our lives in the most wonderful ways imaginable. Everyday I get to live here, wake up here be in this place is a miracle. We are about to face financial hardships, and so I feel blessed that despite that I have shelter and the most perfect shelter that is the desire of my heart. I am blessed and thankful because I have a home of my very own.

For Healing. . .

Well tonight to be honest it is hard to find something to be grateful for. It has been one of those days, filled with anxiety, and feeling helpless in it all. However no one said this project would be easy and so I must think of something. . . I think tonight I am feeling blessed for the journey that I have been on and the healing place I have come to. It has taken 25 and a half years to get to where I am and it has been a very long, very hard fight. To be honest there were many many days I did not think I would get to this point. I could not see healing of any kind in my future. It didn't seem possible and sometimes just breathing in and out in a day was difficult. I made it because God fought for me. At every turn, He was there, time and time again He did not let me sink into the abyss. He was there at every turn in every situation keeping my head above water. He provided me with friends, with Gil, and with professionals that could help. He provided me with family, with an amazing cell group, with a Church that has been so supportive and loving and embracing to my family. He also provided me with his Word and at every turn that Word has helped to ground me, His promises kept me going and kept my head up despite all the things that have come and tried to sabotage it. I know that the circumstances that face me now once again threaten the peace I have enjoyed this past year, the joy I have found, but I have a Savior that fights. He fights for me, He fights for all His children and I am grateful that despite my circumstance He is here. He has provided for my healing and He will continue to do so, and He will heal those I love.